I have been watching a marathon of Say Yes To The Dress. I truly enjoy this show. I love to see the dresses and have always had a wish that I could have opened my own formal dress store. I remember my own search for a dress. I knew what I wanted and at the first store we went to it was the third dress I tried on.
But I made a very big mistake. I spent more time planning my wedding than I did my marriage. And I think most people do. You get caught up in the excitement and the attention. Then it is all over and it's just the two of you.
So I know I made mistakes in my marriage that contributed to my divorce. I have made mistakes my whole life that have impacted me and are responsible for where I am today. Yet if I were given the opportunity to go back in time with the knowledge I have know, I would not go back to the age of 18, nor would I go back to the summer of 1989 when I fell in love for the first time and had a very hot summer. I wouldn't go back to when I met my future ex-husband to redo our marriage.
I would go back to the beginning of our divorce. That is what I would do differently. And I would do it well. Very well. There would be no blame and drama. No begging for marriage counseling. When we got to that part where he asks to separate, I would help him pack his bags and send him on his way.
And I wouldn't look back.
But I made a very big mistake. I spent more time planning my wedding than I did my marriage. And I think most people do. You get caught up in the excitement and the attention. Then it is all over and it's just the two of you.
So I know I made mistakes in my marriage that contributed to my divorce. I have made mistakes my whole life that have impacted me and are responsible for where I am today. Yet if I were given the opportunity to go back in time with the knowledge I have know, I would not go back to the age of 18, nor would I go back to the summer of 1989 when I fell in love for the first time and had a very hot summer. I wouldn't go back to when I met my future ex-husband to redo our marriage.
I would go back to the beginning of our divorce. That is what I would do differently. And I would do it well. Very well. There would be no blame and drama. No begging for marriage counseling. When we got to that part where he asks to separate, I would help him pack his bags and send him on his way.
And I wouldn't look back.
you are so right when it comes to planning for a wedding. women especially, feel they have to have all the glitz and glamor of a huge wedding. to me, it is a nice thought, but the memories i want to make and remember are the moments spent together with my spouse, enjoying each others company and doing things together to make a better marriage and future. i, too, would want to go back to the day my first husband asked me for a divorce, and not drag it out for another 2 months, with counseling. he wasn't right for me all along, but he was the first man who seemed to accept me as i was. so i can relate to this entry.
ReplyDeleteI remember finding my dress... it wasn't even the one I had imagined... completely different, and I remember thinking, "eh, I'll just try it on..." and, as soon as I did I knew it was the one... sorry about your relationship. I just remember my wedding day as passing in a blur and wishing I could do it over just so I could have that much fun again...
ReplyDeletethank you, Veronica. I remember everything about that day. it was fun. as for my relationship, I made my peace with that. it is the divorce itself that bugs me sometimes. just now learning to let go of mistakes.
DeleteDidn't have a wedding gown for first marriage, married too young, without family support. My second marriage..to my Johnny? No wedding gown but he did buy me a gorgeous dress to get married in. When I think of our wedding day I never think of the dress. What I remember is the love I saw on my Johnny's face. That was thirty eight and a half years ago. I still see it, am so blessed.
ReplyDeleteit sounds wonderful. I don't believe one has to have a "wedding dress" to get married. I think what ever you chose to wear is your wedding dress. It sounds like you guys had the focus on just what it should be on.
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